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Yeah, my kids swear sometimes. Because sometimes only an F-bomb will do.
I swear a lot. My kids swear sometimes.
If you’ve been around me, you’ve probably heard my dirty pirate mouth. Or perhaps you’ve read one of my more “colorful” posts. What this all means is… my kids have heard me say a plethora of colorful words. I did my best for a while, but then I just couldn’t censor myself around them anymore. So now, at 5 and 7, they have a, let’s say, ‘well- rounded’ vocabulary. Yes, my kids swear. Well, in the safety of our home at least. (Calm down, Glenda, they won’t assault little Phoenixibauld’s ears.)
They’re pretty good about it
They know which words aren’t good and that they can’t say them at school or with their friends. Basically, if Mom won’t swear there… they don’t swear there. So… meh. My kids swear at home. They still giggle and feel like tough guys when they do, but at least they tend to use the words correctly!
STORY TIME!
Today I was feeling like the parent of the year so I bought my boys McDonald’s for lunch after yelling at them too much. Kid 1 wanted spicy ranch, so I mixed some ranch with buffalo sauce and handed it over. Then proceeded to eat the rest of the buffalo sauce with my secret stash of Gluten-free nuggets. My enjoyment of spicy food lead to the following conversation. Enjoy and your welcome.
Kid 1: I don’t mean this in the bad way, but mom… you’re a badass!
Me: Aw, thanks! And no, that’s not bad. I honestly don’t care if you guys swear.
Kid 1: BADASS!! Wait, you’re so badass that you’re MOMASS!
Kid 2: ASS! MOM ASS! BADASS! AHHHH!
Me (Dying laughing): Ok now guys, that’s funny, but remember that it’s not always appropriate. Don’t swear just to swear.
Kid 1: You know, daddy’s kind of a badass too. Pulling our camper. You guys are like… double badass. DOUBLE PARENT ASS!
Kid 2: DADASS!
Me (At this point in tears laughing): Ok, ok… yes that’s hilarious. But it doesn’t sound like a compliment anymore. But make sure you tell your daddy how you feel about him when he gets home!
Kid 2: AAAAASSSSSS!!!!
So yeah, my kids swear. It’s kind of awesome.
And you know what? On shitty days like today, in a motherfucking year like 2020, I can’t think of one good fucking reason to stop them. Today swearing helped us laugh after a tough morning. So fuck it.

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