2020 – My Word of the Year: BOUNDARIES

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Word of the year… but why though?

Why the hell do I even bother with a word of the year? I was new to this voodoo as of 2018, but I’ve latched on to it like a life raft in the sea of new year’s resolutions. You see, new year’s resolutions had a way of always making me feel like an absolute failure or like I wasn’t any good the previous year. ‘New year, New me!’ and all that. My issue is this: I like me. Sure there are some things I wouldn’t mind changing, but I’m pretty badass as is. So instead of vowing to change a bunch of shit, I like the idea of a focus word. Enhancing a quality I already have, or wish to have, instead of tearing myself apart.

What word did I choose for 2020? Glad you asked!

BOUNDARIES. Pretty cool, eh? Not your typical type of word. It’s a little harsh, can have some negative connotations, and might even turn people off. Usually, you hear words like ‘Thrive!’ or ‘Growth!’ or even my word from last year ‘Consistency!’. So what the fuck? Why ‘BOUNDARIES.’? (Yes, the caps are totally necessary.)

I chose BOUNDARIES because I have none. Well, I do, but they’re all crap. They aren’t good boundaries. I rarely say no, I do WAY too much for other people, and I tend to view my own needs as a burden to others. (Hey! I bet I sound like ALL THE OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE READING THIS BLOG!)

For my 2020 word of the year, I clearly went a different direction. And hey, I’m ok with that. I’m pretty much always the weird one. And I have nothing against the words like I mentioned above. I just… needed to focus inward a little more. You know, bring things back to base and take care of myself a little bit more. I’m burnt out, struggling with some physical and mental health stuff, and spread way too thin. Hence BOUNDARIES. I need to get me some.

How the hell will I put my word of the year into action?

Welp. A word of the year does you no good if you don’t use it to guide you. I’ve heard people call it a ‘lens’ or a ‘compass’. Basically something to help you always move TOWARDS your word. Not away from it. For example, if I say I will NOT share my computer… should I let my kids play games on it? Uh, no. That doesn’t fit my word of the year. Even if they’re screaming and begging, and selling my sanity to the devil, I should ask myself ‘Is this good for my boundaries? After all, I set that boundary for a reason. While it might be easier to give in, it will just lead me right back to where I am now.

Say no

You know what’s harder than hearing no? Saying it. At least for me, it is. I have a tendency to say YES to everything. If I don’t have something else I’m committed to in that time slot, I say yes. It’s awful because, at the same time, I consider my time to be my most precious asset of all. For 2020 I am going to attempt to change my default answer from ‘Yes’ to ‘No’. Instead of thinking ‘If I’m able, I should’ I am going try and change it to ‘If I want to, I will.’ I got in too deep in 2019. The things I REALLY wanted to do got buried under other things I agreed to do just because I technically could.

Reprioritize

Imma let you watch this short video. And I bet you’ll already guess what I’m going to say.

So yeah, I need to focus on my rocks in 2020. 2019 quickly became about the pebbles and sand. I need to set STRONG boundaries around my rocks. My writing, exercise, and eating healthy are all BIG personal rocks that I tend to let slide for the convenience of others. Also… toys and clothes on the floor. That’s sand. I need to set a boundary and then just let it go. When the kids run out of pants or can’t find their Pikachu… meh. Instead of spending all my time running on the hamster wheel of cleaning for others I should be going for an ACTUAL RUN.

Rethink how I treat myself

I’ll be honest. I don’t like this one. Because I don’t mean taking myself out for more pedicures. I mean setting healthy boundaries for myself. My kids HATE me for limiting their sugar intake or not letting them stay up late. Meanwhile, I’m over here eating cookie dough and sleeping 3.5 hours a night. Just because I can. I need to be my own caretaker too. I need to tell myself ‘No’ and respect those good ole boundaries.

2020 word of the year: BOUNDARIES.

That’s it, folks. My 2020 word of the year. BOUNDARIES. It’s a little different, but then again so am I.

Do you choose a word of the year? What is it? or Why don’t you? LEAVE ME THE COMMENTS PEOPLE! I WANT TO TALK TO YOU! Please. I like friends.