There are some phrases I hate. I just plain HATE them. I feel that they do not serve a purpose other than to make people feel worse than they already do, dismiss their pain, or minimize their struggles. Are you curious? I’ll bet you are! So here you go, without further adieu, the phrases I hate…
“I don’t know how you do it.”
Oooooo…I can’t. I cannot with this one. I get it a lot in terms of my health. Yes, I have Type 1 diabetes, Celiac Disease, and Hashimotos Thyroiditis. I also have this fun new mystery migraine. But you know what? There is no choice. Parenting, taking care of my pets, and managing my house aren’t things I can NOT do. I committed to things with my kids’ schools, I made plans to do things with people, or doctors’ appointments or whatever. There is no other choice. That’s how I friggin’ do it.
I also get this when it comes to my kids. One of them isn’t exactly easy. I do it because I’m his fucking mom. That’s how. I love my boys more than life itself. I could fight a Wookie and win when it comes to those boys. So don’t ask me how I do it, I just do. So when people react in disbelief that I manage my OWN life… it’s a wee bit insulting.
“It will get better.”
No shit, Sherlock. Typically living involves these weird ups and downs. Strange, right? Things can be really, really good and then really, really shitty. It’s called ‘Life’. The thing is if I am having a bad day/week/month/year, and I’m telling you about it, I’m probably just feeling my feelings. We’re allowed to do that you know. In the right context, this phrase is fine. However, most people use it dismissively. And that royally pisses me off. Yes, Glenda, I’m aware things will get better. I’m allowed to feel things. Back off.
“Things happen for a reason.”
I will throat punch you if you say this to me after a loss. THROAT. PUNCH. Because you know what? Life is not fair. Things do not happen linearly across the board to all people. Good people can get dealt shit hands. Bad people can get away with everything. LIFE IS NOT FUCKING FAIR. And it sucks. It is ok to be sad, to be mad, to have motherfucking FEELINGS. There is not some ginormous reason behind every heartbreak. Sure, you might find some lessons down the road, but you also might not. SHOCKER. This might be the tippity top of the phrases I hate.
I get that my feelings might make other people uncomfortable. People tend to get very uncomfortable with other people not being ALL THE HAPPY ALL THE TIME. But this phrase is so utterly dismissive. Just let me feel my shit. If you don’t want to hear it, just tell me. I’ll find someone who does.
“If you just….”
This one tends to happen the most around parenting. People have lots of opinions on parenting kids that aren’t their own, don’t they? I’ll admit it, I totally did when my kids were hypothetical. Having a special needs kid in particular REALLY brings it out too. ‘If you just limit his screen time more’, ‘If you just put him to bed later he’ll sleep later’ (HAAAAAA!), or ‘If you just ignore the behavior…’, etc. It’s ALL there. There’s always a very simple little solution to my very big issues and I am clearly an idiot. Like I don’t know my children at all. Clearly. BACK OFF GLENDA!
Unsolicited advice in general just feels like putting on wet underwear… ew. No one likes it. So can we just avoid it at all costs, please? Unless it’s life-saving advice like ‘Your kid isn’t buckled in’ is it really worth it? NOPE. It ain’t.
“It’s not that bad.”
Dude. Unless you are sitting next to me through all the tantrums with me… you have no idea what it’s like. If you aren’t counting each carb or scrutinizing every label, you have no clue. Just like I have no idea what it’s like to be you! So, for the love of God, can we PLEASE stop minimizing other people’s shit?
Not only is it minimizing other people’s shit, but it’s also this stupid weird competition thing we’ve got going on. ‘I have it worse than you!’. Um… ok? Like, why are we competing over this? Is there some misery trophy I’m missing somewhere? Can we stop this nonsense? Can we at least ADMIT that we do this so we can work on stopping it? Anyone? Bueller?
The phrases I hate may not be what YOU hate
What phrases do you loathe? TELL ME! I want to commiserate. Perhaps we can have a competition about who has it worse in terms of the random phrases.