My personal review of Girl Stop Apologizing
Ah yes. A good book review! I should totally do more of these based on how much I read. OK, let’s get to my review of Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis. Just like my opinions on our Disney Cruise, this might not go over so well with some of you. Sorry? Oh wait, I’m not apologizing. ZING!
Seriously though, first and foremost, I am NOT Mrs. Hollis’s ideal reader, client, or target market. I’m just not. And that’s ok! That’s how these things work. When you try to appeal to everyone you appeal to no one… which ironically is one of the things I found difficult in this book. More on that later. But if I ran into Rachel on the street we’d be nice and friendly, we might even be friends! But in terms of her book and her business? It’s not for me. Just like this blog is probably not for her! I’m not her cup of tea and she’s not my black coffee so to speak. Ok enough filibustering, let’s talk about the book!
A Review of Girl, Stop Apologizing– The Pros
This is hands down my favorite part of the book. Her blunt honesty about what drives her, what she does and does not do, and what she likes and doesn’t like. She apologizes for nothing, which is good based on the title of the book itself. Her honesty about her parenting style is the most refreshing. Most of us moms are constantly attacked from all angles and feel all the heat. She gives it the finger and I like that. BUT, she also talks about how hard it is to do that. Like I said, refreshing.
It’s an easy read. It’s not that long, it uses simple language, and is broken down well. For a busy mom like me, that style works. I understand it, I don’t need to rehash things over and over in my head to make sense of them. It’s SIMPLE!
Includes action steps
This was a struggle I had with her first book since it didn’t really include any of the answers to my constant ” OK, sure. but HOW?” moments throughout it. Girl Stop Apologizing isn’t like that. She shares step by step plans. Granted the plans are not personally something I would do, but at least it answers my thundering ‘HOW?!” from her first book.
Her words actually help people
I know quite a few people that have personally benefited from reading this book. And her first book too! They have implemented changes in their lives and become a better version of themselves because of it. Rachel Hollis is a powerhouse. An inspiring, relatable, charismatic powerhouse that is making waves and changing lives. This cannot be overlooked.
A Review of Girl, Stop Apologizing– The Cons
I’ll be honest here guys, these apply to Girl, Wash Your Face too. So without further ado…
The false sense of urgency
If I took a drink every time she says ‘RIGHT NOW!’ I’d be dead. Honestly, there are very few things I have to do RIGHT NOW and making big life decisions isn’t one of them. It works great in the context of her book, as she’s firing you up with her stories of success… but for me, it feels a bit leading. ‘ Take action on your dreams RIGHT NOW! By coming to my conference.’ I know that’s not what she intends, but it certainly feels like that to me.
I also worry about the woman who makes a rash decision that she’s later going to regret because it was the heat of the moment and RIGHT NOW is ringing in her ears. My vote? PLAN NOW! Go ahead and think about what you want. Depending on how huge it is go talk to your family, evaluate the financials of it, and learn the things you need to learn before diving in. Whenever someone tells me I have to do something RIGHT NOW I tend to give the side eye, wonder what their angle is, and sleep on it first. Hence why the RIGHT NOW being screamed on practically every page had me clawing my eyes out.
The false sense of security
Oh yes, go ahead and hate me for this one. Not everyone will achieve their dreams. Even if they give EVERYTHING to do so. It’s a harsh truth of the world, but it IS true. I think Mrs. Hollis’s story is incredibly inspiring. She worked her ass off to get where she is, and I have no doubt she will become the media mogul she wants to be. However, that will not be true of everyone and their goals. Girl, Stop Apologizing gives the false sense that if you work hard, ignore everyone else, and put yourself first you will ALWAYS succeed.
I know I sound like a bitchy pessimist here, but the thing is, not everyone ‘makes it’ the way she has. And it’s not because they didn’t try hard enough! I guarantee that you know at least one person who has dropped everything and done all the things to achieve a goal only to never reach it no matter how hard they try. This is the biggest oversight in the entire book if you ask me. You guys, IT IS OK TO FAIL. IT IS OK TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. IT IS OK TO HAVE BIG DREAMS AND NEVER ACHIEVE THEM.
Case and point, I wanted to be a doctor when I was younger. Then I got Type 1 Diabetes. So my plan of joining the military to get my M.D. was no longer an option. And I had no desire to accrue the debt of paying for that much education on my own. So what did I do? I readjusted. I aimed for something still within my reach and became an engineer. Do I still long for the dream of being a doctor? Sure! But did the alternative work out? Hell yes! Sometimes we DON’T reach our goals. And sometimes it doesn’t make sense to keep trying. Sometimes things are simply not in the cards. That’s life.
We learn that her brother died by suicide in her first book. But we hear more about Diet Coke than we do about him. It is clear that she has seen some SHIT. And yet a lot of the book read like an infomercial for happiness. I know this sounds crazy harsh, and it kind of is. I struggle with this part of my review, but honestly, it’s just how I feel. She has loads of good advice, but barely any of it scratches the surface of digging deep and looking inward and analyzing your own behavior beyond ‘try harder’. I don’t feel bad at all reading this book. Which sounds like a weird thing to list as a ‘con’ but a lot of my personal self-improvement has come from the uncomfortable task of looking at MYSELF in an honest light. Not just at what I want.
Who exactly is she talking to?
Her first book, and subsequently this one, made a huge splash in the Direct Sales world. Which is how I originally found them. I’ll be the first to admit A LOT of direct sales is cheerleading, overcoming fear, and getting out of your comfort zone. It’s a breeding ground for MAJOR personal growth. So this book fits!
But the book itself is not directly aimed at Direct Sales, it just happened to make a splash in that arena. Throughout the book, she talks to ALL women. But… how do you make your words so cross-functional that the new mom who wants to lose 20 lbs and the young woman trying to recover from sexual assault BOTH benefit? I’m not saying it’s impossible but it is very, very unlikely. In the meantime, you run the risk of alienating both women entirely. So what’s the solution? Don’t appeal to everyone. Or at least don’t try to.
In my opinion, she should be writing for women just like her. The ones who want to take over the world. No more, no less. Otherwise, the message tends to get muddled.
Final Verdict. Should you read Girl Stop Apologizing?
YUP. Read it. I’m not a huge fan of her stuff, but as I mentioned above Rachel Hollis IS reaching women on a new level. So my vote is to read it. If you’re like me and it doesn’t really resonate with you try The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. I’ll be reviewing that one REAL soon! (Hint: I LOVED it!)
And if you need any of the books mentioned in this post… Here ya go!