Chances are, if you’re reading this, you are either looking for actual information on tongue scrapers (coming I promise!), Or a laugh because I’m awkward as hell (Also gonna happen. Sorrynotsorry).
So tongue scrapers. Let’s dive in. Clearly, this thing is actually a torture device for squirrels or pixies. Because how does this freaky looking thing benefit my TONGUE?! Ever wonder what I look like on video scraping my tongue? WONDER NO MORE!
So now that you have been exposed to that debauchery… Why bother scraping your tongue at all?
Come, sit. Let’s talk.
And the benefits of tongue scraping are…
- A cleaner mouth. It’s no surprise that our mouths tend to be disgusting places. Bacteria. Food particles. Aliens. It’s a constant moshpit in there! So we brush our teeth, use mouthwash, and maybe even brush our tongue with a toothbrush. But is it really enough? Can you do more for that oh so fresh and clean feeling? YES, YOU CAN! Scrape that tongue!
- Better breath. Do you know what comes with a cleaner mouth? Better breath! So if you’re a close talker or a halitosis riddled warthog (Thanks for that line King Candy!), invest in a tongue scraper. It really does help keep that fresh feeling longer than brushing alone. It’s a fast and easy way to better breath. Worth it!
- Fewer tonsil stones. This one comes from my own personal experience. I am one of those lucky people that gets tonsil stones. Google it if you’re feeling brave. For those of you with weaker stomachs, tonsil stones are white balls of gunk that build up in your tonsils causing a variety of annoyance. Bad breath mostly. They are gross, not fun to remove, and I HATE THEM. When I started scraping I didn’t think about the effect on my tonsil stones until I realized I hadn’t had the pleasure of removing one in a long time. So at this point, as long as I scrape consistently, I do not get stones. I’ll take it!
- Fewer sugar cravings. This is probably because it can help improve your sense of taste, but in my crackpot theory it’s because it helps
removethose nasty little candida bugs that are sugar whores. WHORES!
- It is oddly satisfying. The feeling of a freshly scraped tongue is similar to just leaving the dentist. But even better than that is the acts of scraping. It just feels nice! We hate to admit that we’re all kind of gross, and this is one of those
self careacts that is oddly pleasurable. Just trust. Try it.
How to tongue scrape
If you didn’t watch the video, or need it written out, here is how to scrape yo’ tongue!
- Get a tongue scraper.
- Put it on your tongue and gently scrape down and away from the back of your tongue.
- Google it and read about it from someone who’s less of a smart ass. Or just watch the video above.
What not to do while tongue scraping
- Gag yourself. If you have a sensitive gag reflex start towards the middle of your tongue. A half scraped tongue is better than a non-scraped togue.
- Go against the grain. ALways scrape away from the back of your tongue and towards the tip. Think of your tongue like a snake, go with the grain.
- Hurt yourself. Don’t press too hard, dig in, or otherwise be too forceful. A gently scraping sensation is all you feel. Also, if you have a sore, don’t scrape. WE’re not solving world hunger here people, we’re scraping our tongues. Don’t go overboard.
- Keep it a secret. Guys, let’s make this the new CrossFit overshare meme. TELL EVERYONE! Let’s make Tshirts. We need a hashtag. I want joke articles written about people who tongue scrape and don’t tell anyone because we all talk about it so much. Tongue scraping cult style. We can do it, I know we can.
Now you’re ready to join the tongue scraping movement
Scrape on! Get one for yourself, everyone in your house, and everyone you love. They make such great gifts! It’s even more fun if the recipient doesn’t have a clue what it is and has to guess. BUT, before we get carried away, start doing it yourself. Because it’s good for you!
Want to see the other random ways that I improve my health on a daily basis? Come like my Facebook Page! Where I scrape by being healthy on a daily basis. HA! I’m hilarious. Be my friend… please.