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I said it. So what? Gonna punch me now?
For real though guys, these things are bloody amazing. I mean, you can’t even overflow the amount of love I feel towards menstrual cups. This article might be hard to write, I feel myself cramping up. I’m sorry, I’m done now. I’ll just let the words flow. I mean, I’ll write the words really fast, then it’ll slow to a trickle that takes me a week to finish. DAMMIT. I mean… this might get a little pissy. SHIT. Ok, I swear, that’s the last one. from here on out I won’t clot up. CRAP. Ok, I’ll try to menstrual-splain this…. Have all the men stopped reading? ok, cool. Let’s do this.
Reasons you should use a menstrual cup
The whole ‘earth’ thing
I love the earth, but I am not the blogger to talk to you about how menstrual cups save the planet. But yeah, the earth thing is a good reason to switch too.
So when I got my first cup, which I FINALLY just replaced (15 months later) I was a little freaked out and I removed and checked it more often than I needed to. But, once I got used to it and realized I could literally leave it alone for 12 hours, the ease sunk in. I can deal with my period, at home (In the shower no less!), and be one with it. No awkward public bathroom encounters or searching for a tampon/ making sure I packed 37 tampons in my purse. WIN!
We lost the water supply in our house of horrors when we first moved in (and I was reminding the world that I was NOT pregnant) so we couldn’t flush the toilets. CUP FOR THE WIN! It lasted 18 hours. Like a true champ, I was able to count on it when I needed it. Once you get through the first cycle with a cup you’ll be singing it’s praises for how easy it is to deal with. Twice a day? AT HOME!? UH, YES PLEASE!
It saves money
I paid 14$ for my first cup. I am replacing it now so I can make a video about it without using the one that has, you know, actually been inside me. 14$ for 15 months of period supplies?! UH… DUH! Chances are you know what the Pink Tax is (Pure bullshit). But since dudes don’t shed the lining of a major organ every month, we are just plain overcharged for something we NEED. This is where a cup is the perfect middle finger to all that noise. 13-30$ vs. 180-300$/ year. SCREW YOU PATRIARCHY! I’m not PMSing I swear.
It can take it
Not to be crass or anything, but if my period had a soundtrack it would be death metal. I birthed two kids and have a family history of fibroids, so my days of sad Disney songs are over. We’re for real now. Like, floodgates-of-hell for real. Some of you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about, and some of you think I’m overexaggerating. It’s cool. Either way, a cup has got you covered. Most come in two sizes, small and large. The major point of delineation is whether or not you’ve had kids. But, based on my experience with the large, the small can take a whole lot of Armageddon too. You can’t go wrong.
I have never had a leak with my cup. NOT ONE. I run, go to a kickboxing gym, ride horses on occasion, and sleep. It has yet to fail me.
Do you remember the first time you dealt with a tampon? Yeah, it sucked. Same with a cup, there’s a learning curve. But once you got it figured out, it’s fast, easy, and surprisingly not that messy. I was all squeamish a first too until I realized I had been more intimate with myself during a routine tampon fishing excursion. Don’t roll your eyes, you’ve been there too, at least once. But here’s the difference: I could always FEEL a tampon. I often FORGET my cup is even there. It’s that much more comfortable. I mean it. I am not a warrior of the full moon either… In fact, I’m kind of a period wuss. One of the drivers for me to try a cup was the fact that tampons were hell on earth after kid #2, and pads were WAY too much like diapers that I had to change every hour (see above: floodgates of hell).
It can shorten your period/make it less annoying
I have no idea what kind of black magic this is, but it’s true. For some strange reason, my cycle is a full 1-2 days SHORTER using a cup than it is using a tampon. And I have little to no cramps. Between the menstrual cup and Juice Plus, I have not had to take over the counter anything for the past year. I’m dead serious. I used to carry around Ibuprofen in my purse, but now I don’t even own any. This is not a drill. I still have symptoms, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t need drugs anymore to deal with it.
I have some more random thoughts, that I can’t make fir into pretty little categories, so here they are. It’s a blog post about menstrual cups… not the NY Times. So I feel no guilt. Sorrynotsorry.
- It’s ONE thing. NO worrying about sizes, flow amount, Toxic shock syndrome, etc. It’s one thing that handles the whole shebang.
- I still buy panty liners 1-2 times a year. But don’t we all? I use them for things OTHER than hell week anyway. Like sneezing. SO DO YOU JANET! Don’t judge me.
- The very first time I used my cup I went on a tubing trip. Go big or go home, right? I have NOT been kind to this little workhorse. It continues to impress me. I probably don’t even need to replace it, but I REALLY want to make a video showing one off. So I bought a new one. Stay tuned.
- The reviews are kind of all over the place, and I have yet to have any of the problems mentioned. My cup hasn’t hardened, it hasn’t cracked, hasn’t gotten stuck. I use it, wash it, and store it in the nifty little bag it came with. Literally… that’s it. And it has lasted 15 months without any issues. No fancy special care here!
- My, um, health…down there…. has been really great since making the switch. No dryness, itchiness, challenges with doing what married couples do… nothing. A bit TMI, but I honestly think my overall feminine health has probably improved. Just sayin’.
- I personally use a Blossom cup. There are LOTS of brands, and I bet they’re all pretty great, but I only have experience with this cup.